“I turned my phone on ” airplane mode” and threw it into the air. “They say don’t try this at home… So I’m going to go to my friends house and try it.” “Some people are just like trees… Hey take forever to grow up!” “Don’t mind me, I’m just returning your nose. “A best friend is someone who when you show up at their door with a dead body they say nothing, grab a shovel and follow you.”Īmazing Good Morning Quotes and Wishes with Beautiful Images You do have to keep an eye out for the pricks!” “The only exercise some people get is running their mouth, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck!” “Does anybody else have a voice in their head that repeats, “slap the idiot, slap the idiot!” No? Just me? Hmm… Odd” “The problem with some people… Is that they exist”įurther reading: 79 Great Inspirational & Motivational Quotes With Images To Inspire “Do you ever listen to a story and think lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!” “My doctor asked me if I had ever had a stress test? Yes – I replied it’s called life” “My favorite part of cooking dinner is when the delivery guy shows up.” “If I died I want my friends to keep updating my status to freak people out.” G no one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.” “If a bra is an “over the shoulder boulder holder” then what would you call the men’s underwear? Under the butt nut hut?” “It’s been a rough week 3 but on a positive note… I didn’t need any bail money and didn’t have to hide any bodies.”

Sexy minion sayings